How I Shafted My Day Job (Well, Almost)

“You’ve proven yourself. Evaluation result is high. Though aside from those strengths you once showed me during the first interview (that goes something like here), which are kind of stupid and I suggest you stop doing them for laughs or to scare us, you’re pretty much the real deal, ain’t you? But you’re fine. Now if you’ll just sign these papers...”

“What papers?”

“These papers. You see, they materialize, as you know, when you’ve done a great job and we’re expected to offer you for a contract extension, and, umm, yes, a higher salary for your pains.”

“Ah, those papers. So how much will you pay me for another run of mindfucking?”

“Well, I should ask you Jonas to stop referring to your job as "mind-something" especially when talking to a lady. Now the amount of pay raise is also on the paper, if you’ll just be kind enough to pay attention and not to hold the papers upside-down, flip it please so that you’ll see the contents of our new agreement.”

I skimmed the pages, six of them which included the result of my evaluation. At the last page it said I got 4.8 out of 5, which, of course, impressed even me. I read the first page again which is where my signature will be. I looked at the smiling HR manager, noticed the green color of her right earring, and a crazy sperm-of-the-moment thought came to my head prompting me not to sign it.

“I won’t sign it.”

“What?! What do you mean you won’t sign it?” she asked, bewildered. “You mean you won’t work with us anymore?”

“Maybe. But not that really. It’s just that when everything seems to go smoothly. I become a bit suspicious. But that’s just me, I think.”

“Well, that’s weird. And we’ll surely miss you if you quit the job. The offer stands though. If you want some time to think it over, I think it would be best for you and the company. But we don’t have so much time, you know that.”

“Perhaps, that’s what I need. Thanks for your understanding, Miss Luv.” And I went out of the office, leaving her more bewildered.

I did not report the next day, which naturally upset my department manager. He said whatever I’m dealing with at the moment I should get over it, and fast. Can you just come to the office for at least a half-day of work, he asked me. I said I am not good at working half-days and he knows that. When I can’t start the day right, I won’t be able to finish the day right either. Also have some important things to mull over.

I was actually invited for a job interview. It’s a new company here in Cebu promising poor blokes like me of high paying salaries. Said company turned out to be owned by a bunch of Americans with Indian names, whose main headquarters are based somewhere in California.

Long story short, the meeting didn’t pan out well. Also I’ve realized I’ve missed my work, my special chair and the good people I am working with almost everyday for the last six months. Which would be a good thing, I think, rather than leaving a company who’ve expressed their desire for another mindfuck run on a higher pay, to a new company that I ain’t sure yet if they know ding-adow to wab-lida, or whatever...

So ‘nuff of shafting, I’m staying.