Liveblogging Alec Baldwin and His Quest to Kidnap Your Daughter

Yes me too is fucking invisible. I exist solely in your imagination. But unlike Alec Baldwin, that same small letter motherfucking Bald-Wayne, whose devious plan I'm the first to uncover, I continue to exist to protect your daughters, sisters, and yes, your mothers too.. And one way to ensure their safety is to blog about anything that have something to do with securing their lives. As of this late, Alec Baldwin is the threat. No, he's not much of a threat.. Not like those usual threats, Alec is old. He is extremely very old that you cannot but allow him some special privileges reserved for older men. Yet again, the fact remains, he's a fucking threat to our women...

So with some detective skills, I went straight to Bad-Wayne's house and stole his diary.

Yes, I am very sorry. But it is good as done. Your daughter is mine!

Alec Baldwin's Diary

May 12, 2009

Dear Diary,

Just arrive home from Letterman's Show. Crap. Those people love me. I bet those from the Philippines are loving me now too, especially their daughters.

Fuck diary, I forgot something. You see, I promise my 13-year-old daughter a date this weekend. The thing is I'll have to disappoint her again. But one phone call will take care of that. You think?

But anyway, I'll be busy these coming days. My special mail-order will come soon from the Philippines. Now...wait...

FCOLZ! Okay, okay, let's not panic. Alright then, Alec is fucking very old, right? But fellow countrymen, for cripessakes, hide you 13-old-daughters. I mean your barely legal daughter. Also your mothers too.. It's our evil's fate that Alec Fatherfuck Baldwind is looking at us though old as he is.