I can't say no to Charisse. No one can say no to Charisse (dammit!). She's such a sweet woman and she's this real high IQ and great sense of humor, and she is my boss.
So when she asked me to look for writers to add to our team, I need to find the mood right away to come up with something like this so that poor writers like you can read it.
But before you consider to apply, a fellow writer suggested that you should read this first to get the idea of who we are (we are the best) and what we do (usually not nice).
Other fellow said that I should write a sort of caveat so that when something happens to you while you work with us, we are not totally to blame and we can move on right away after a moment of grief for your misfortune.
Still another added that, since you can expect only the best from us, we expect the same thing from you. So don't wait amigo and don't mind too much of everything, if you think you can write, then write with us.
A writer like you will get hired right away if you only care to apply, and get a chance to share a room with me, you poor wretched creature.
So, here are the qualifications:
- A degree/diploma in Mass Communications, Marketing, Journalism or English is freaking crap. We have no need for it. We want writers.
- No years of professional writing experience is necessary as long as you'd been taught to write by your mother when you were still in your stroller, then that would be enough.
- You may or you may not bring with you your creative writing diploma as one writer here is ready to collect yours for her afternoon voodoo session, or something. But bring with you some portfolio, if you have one, as that would be a big plus and we can make some good laugh out of it too. Savvy!?
- Drop out suckers who've been writing about their fucked-up lives are encouraged to apply and get the chance to share a box of munchkins and a pint of rum with me while toying Loui's nipples.
- If you can write 100% original materials, you have no business with us you frigging would-be Einstein you.
- All materials you write will pass through extensive article duplicate checkers so as to keep you from your own demons. Beware.
- Must be responsible and self-driven individuals, or whatever it means, who can understand instructions quickly and deliver materials on time
- And lastly, this great opportunity is for Cebu-based writers who are said to be more fun and best to work with.
There you have it! So as they always say, Apply now!