Saturday, May 24, 2008

Get Fucked-Up: Your Diet Series

When your best friend said in passing that you seemed like you've gain some weight, meaning you are fat and you should worry, you decided it's high time you've got to do something. Your first logical step usually is to skip some meals and cut down carbohydrates consumption, frequenting the weight scales than usual.

But gaining weight seems easier than losing it. It taxes lots of patience and when things become difficult frustrations mount too. When frustrations mount, you most likely at this point go berserk and would nicely attack the fridge, emptying its contents and finishing it off with a diet Coke. Next moment, you find yourself crying and start hating the world and all its fatty evils while munching some chocolate munchkins.

When all hope seemed wasted, and all that Lord Of The Ring crap, you started to reflect and ask the right questions why the world's so rude: some people are slim and beautiful while others are fat, ugly and will die sooner. In your reverie, you find out that something must have gone wrong with you. [Everything's wrong with you, you fucking idiot!] At this point, your brain bulb lights on and you sleep sweetly that night. Next day, you wake up a new person with a complete resolve (let's play along please!), seriously this time and all.

Fuck, should I have to say this? Hey kid, listen, you've heard, of course, of the “What goes around comes back around” old cliché. No. Okay. Fuck you. With the serious business of slimming down, everything goes back to you. If you want something so badly to happen in your life, the place to start is the self by, for instance, putting a stop to fretting and blaming others why you are fat in the first place. By the time you made peace to self and pledge to be responsible, half of the battle is won. The other half, well, is what this series supposedly all about.

The first thing you probably want to ask is: how come you are fat when you are most careful to drink only diet softdrinks and snack on french fries instead of a full meal? An excellent question that will bring us to the fucked-up series that are coming soon...

Now, fuck off you big-butt bitch!

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