Till Doomsday and Kingdom Come

Seems like I need again to break my habit of not attending to my blog. You may notice that I was not blogging for one straight month. And during that period, interesting events were happening that were worthy of a blog, and which I just observed in silence, doing nothing but sipped my favorite grog with pleasure and toying the idea of getting a good honest laid.

Anyway, blogworthy events were happening on that one month duration like putting fear to my girlfriend's stalker and several of my idolized personas had finally decided to become dead.

Arranged alphabetically, they are Cory Aquino (for revolutionizing Philippine Politics), Frank McCourt (for giving the world his most well-loved memoirs: Angela’s Ashes, ‘Tis, and Teacher Man), Michael Jackson (for his Moonwalk minus his expensively distorted face), and Regalada Aleria (my grandmother who once bought me a Boyz II Men T-shirt and for cooking for me my favorite dinurog, her own specialty made of a hodge-podge of native delicacies).

To boot, other equally disappointing yet funny footnotes of bad history were occurring too such as the elevation of Carlo J. Caparas to National Artistdom, which means I can be a National Artist too, okay, you too, provided we still have this kind of government when we are as old as Carlo Fucking-J-Fucking Caparas and continue doing what we are doing at present: producing crap in strong doses, prolifically. An angry critic once compared my writings to said Carlo J. Caparas. So don’t envy me when I get that award any year now. The other one which no longer surprise me was the 10,000,000php Gloria Macapagal Arroyo had spent for a dinner in New York. Others said it’s 1,000,000php in a fucking blowout. But whichever sources you consult, a million pesos spent in a single dinner to satisfy one’s hunger (or is it bodily hunger they wanted to fill?) is pure motherfucking craziness and retardity, making my 20 pesos daily allowance for food looks like a crumb.

But Gloria is widely known as delusional and retarded is no longer a surprise. But, hey, let’s not envy her ‘coz she’s crazy, retarded and all as well as those people surrounding her. She’s our fucking President for crissakess! Or supposed to be one, that is, if we really have one since Erap was caught fucking with our women and spending our money on big time gambling. But at least we can honestly say that the good ole man Erap was really the President, short time though it was, yet had still the time enjoying those (expletives expletives***) awesome benefits!

I once blogged about voting next year’s elections only if Ed Panlilio will run for the presidency. I should add Noynoy Aquino to my wishlist. Well, either the Ed or Noynoy should run. We can never go wrong to any one of them. Otherwise, I better not vote and stay in my reclusive room with the ants, mosquitoes, my rum and brandy, books, and the occasional visit of the girlfriend till doomsday and kingdom come.

Now wait…’

The Tyranny of Or

I like you to stay a minute longer, dear reader, I’ve something important to tell you yet. I commit this same mistake again. And I feel like hell. Against myself. Against this beautiful woman. Against the world.

Okay, against you too, Internet.

As you can see, at my age, I am 26, single, with some millions of pesos in the bank which is not mine and have filed some couple of years living with what I wrote. I should be writing more than I am. I mean writing or blogging as much as I can instead of wasting my time with other things besides writing and poking fun at people around us: those foolish women you meet almost everywhere, men who think they know something about saving the world (I don’t know about saving the world, or even care saving it, so don’t count me), and making fun of those fucking politicians who think they have g-balls and vaginas lots awesomer and lots bigger than the other politicians among them. Which is crap, right? But, that’s what they have been doing, right? And we pay them our fucking money for some years now.

Fuck it’s our money and I think we should be angry and hang them, g-balls, vaginas and all, in some trees and put a signboard on each one of them saying something like “I am a clown and your lives will be less funnier without me.” But again, we’ll also do them some favor by hanging them still.

I know it’s not a good caption. But hanging seems like tough and a caption like that will serve as something to console them while them hanging lifeless and unfunny in their respective trees. Or something like that. Or again another caption that goes like “It’s okay to hang me but let’s do it later, if you know what I mean. First give me your money so that I can entertain you people further ‘coz I think you are much foolisher than I am. And that’s good ‘coz the foolisher you are the more money I can get from you.”

Anyway, this blog is not really about that. I mean about those foolish women or men, or those clowns in our so-called Philippine politics that I would love to see hanging in a tree with a more appropriate caption to go with it.

This blog is about this woman I should not have been loving now. But I gambled as I always do when it comes to girls who pass as a good substitute for Megan Fox. Well, Megan Fox has those gifts bestowed on her by gods: 99% superhotlegs.

Sigh**

I need some drink. And I have to work. Maybe let's forget about that important something I need to tell you. It's not that important now. Thank you for reading this far, anyway.

Among Ed

If Ed Panlilio will run for president, I'll promise to change my opinion on politics and vote when elections come. You see, I’d swear to my mind and heart never to vote again and do anything that has something to do with politics, except, of course, to poke fun at them politicians.

There’s nothing I would certainly love to see than a contest between “mega-gangster powers” in our so-called Philippine Politics and an Among Ed Panlilio. The difference will be shouting and one can expect lots of fun, fun, and fun. Expect the rest of the world both sane and stupid to get interested, see the fun and love it. Hell, expect the sane ones to show their disgusts of our present politics and offer their support to put a stop to all these disgusting nonsense. U.S. President Obama has already done that favor to us. Remember that picture below?



That's so fucking shameful. I stole that picture from a fellow filipinowriter blogger hectorolympus. You can find the link here.


Anyway, the Ed can certainly count on my vote and, well, my awesomastic unstinting support too.